(where does not matter)

Above my right shoulder blade sits four words: "where does not matter." Somewhere in the West Coast of California sits the same tattoo on my sister Megan's shoulder. For years, Megan & I wanted to get matching tattoos. The night before I got engaged to Karina, Meg & I got inked. The process to choose the four words on our shoulders took years. We ruled out matching hearts pretty quickly. (Large sections of Top Gun quotes were once an option.) I wanted a subtle tattoo, the kind of mark I'd have to share a story to explain. So, here's the story behind "where does not matter."

On my shelf sits a book called A Wind in the Door. It's the second book in a five-volume children's series by Madeline L'Engle. You may have read the first book in the series when you were in Elementary school. It's called A Wrinkle in Time. I discovered A Wrinkle in Time my Junior year of college. After breezing through the rest of the series, A Wind in the Door beckoned a second reading. The themes of rhythm, communion, light & dark, naming, sacrifice, & the limits of language captured my gaze.

The protagonist Meg goes on a journey with a Seraphim named Progo to save her brother from the disease which threatens his life. Her path exposes her to a darkness keeping people from naming who they are & being named by others. It's a story of what happens to the rhythm of life when you don't know your name. It keeps you from being all that you are when you are known & loved. Throughout A Wind in the Door, the Seraphim Progo tries to teach Meg that communication is not the same as communion, the love & reciprocity of beings when they see & are seen. If you love someone, "where does not matter." You know their name. They know your name. Meg, through a process of successive "naming", saves her brother. In the process, she learns what it means to be named & the danger of forgetting your name.

When it came time to decide on a tattoo for Megan & I, A Wind in the Door again drew my gaze. "Where does not matter." Megan & I live on separate coasts of a wide continent. But, though we communicate often, what matters is that I know her name & she knows mine. Where does not matter. So, the night before I got engaged, Megan & I went to her friend's tattoo parlor in Los Angeles & got "where does not matter" inked on our right shoulders. It's subtle. But it reminds me that somewhere, across the country, Megan knows my name. Someday, I hope to get a tattoo for all of my sisters. In reality, I wear the tattoo for them too. I know their names, and I learn more of who they are each day.

I might get more tattoos in the future. If I do, they will be words & phrases. I don't dislike art & drawings, I simply love words. I love the beauty words speak to but never quite capture. I love that words do name things.

“Progo,' Meg asked. 'You memorized the names of all the stars - how many are there?' How many? Great heavens, earthling. I haven't the faintest idea.' But you said your last assignment was to memorize the names of all of them.' I did. All the stars in all the galaxies. And that's a great many.' But how many?' What difference does it make? I know their names. I don't know how many there are. It's their names that matter.” -A Wind in the Door