The Game of Celebration

I've never liked parties. The Myers-Briggs test says I'm an INTJ. That makes sense for my personality, but it does group me with a certain type of people. Most Disney & Bond villains are INTJs, and they don't much like parties either from what I can tell. I don't think I'm a Disney villain, but many INTJs I know don't like parties either. What the Myers-Briggs test did not tell me is that I love celebrations. Celebrations are a game I've always been able to play.

For a year, I was a part of Student Government at my college. It felt more like the party planning committee from The Office. One time the leadership wanted to throw a spring party. For two weeks, we wrestled with an idea for a party. We landed on "Flashback Friday" where people dressed from different decades and danced to the 1900's top ten playlist. The party was on a Friday, but I didn't go. In the process of planning, I realized that we were trying to make a party happen. We had to come up with a theme & make it sound fun. The party wasn't inherently worth attending. I'm sure community happened and people made great memories. Many parties do happen as a way to celebrate. However, "Flashback Friday" was just a party and nothing more. It missed people like me. It might not miss you, and that is okay!

When people talk about celebrating, from what I can see, you don't have to convince someone it's worthwhile. What I mean by that is something like this. I lost touch with a good friend from High School named Chase for a few years. Then one day I received an invitation to his wedding. He & Julie were getting married about four hours away in Georgia. I had way more papers to write his wedding weekend than the weekend of "Flashback Friday". But I did not question whether or not I would go. I was going to celebrate my friend getting married to the love of his life. The ceremony was unforgettable. I ran into people from Aiken I should have cared more to see. Chase emanated the strength & warmth of a groom. Julie took his breath away. A situation back home found its way to my cell phone after the ceremony, so I could not make the reception. If I had been there, this INTJ would have danced like a fool (not by intention, but by sheer lack of talent). It was a celebration of marriage, and not just any marriage, but my friend Chase's marriage. This INTJ loves to celebrate.

The Bible is littered with stories of people celebrating. There's a lot of grieving in there too, no doubt about that. But when people in the Old Testament had an encounter with God, they would build an altar or at least pile up some rocks to remember that moment. When the Israelites left Egypt, God told them to celebrate their freedom every year at Passover. People are still celebrating Passover thousands of years later.

Celebration & Remembrance are similar games. However, there's one key difference in my mind. You can remember anything. It's important to remember things, even the dates when those things happened. Memory keeps you tethered to life beyond the present. We celebrate what we remember. If you lose the memory, you lose the celebration. But it's impossible to celebrate if the reason to celebrate isn't a part of your story. People still celebrate Passover because it's the story of their people. A wedding is a wedding, and you can celebrate at any wedding because a wedding might have been or will be a part of your story someday. You can remember anything, the good and the bad. When the bad & hard memories go beyond tethering your present and instead keep you locked into the past, that is when celebration is most important. Celebration is the proper response to the reality & recognition of something good to you and those around you. It' It's our joyful response to good in our story. Maybe that's why I don't like some parties. Celebrations are too worthwhile to fabricate.

-HGM